MURDERERS MAKE RIGHT WITH VICTIM

On Thursday 20 November, at the onset of International Restorative Justice Week and the imminent 16 Days of Activism Against Abuse of Women and Children, a group of murderers will be escorted by the Department of Correctional Services to Alexandra SAPS Hall in order to give the community an opportunity to enter into a rare dialogue that was recently initiated between the murderers and a woman whose father was murdered in a hijacking.



The same event will happen on 26 November when the same perpetrators are escorted to the Naledi SAPS Hall in Soweto.



The sensational dialogue that began in private within the premises of Leeuwkop Correctional Centre is referred to as a Victim Impact Panel by Restorative Justice (RJ) practitioners and was facilitated by RJ specialists from Khulisa, a leading non governmental organization dedicated to preventing crime throughout South Africa.



During this Victim Impact panel, the daughter of the murdered hijack victim was given an opportunity to confront the three convicted murderers, together with two other men convicted of attempted murder and another of armed robbery. She shared with them the consequences of their crimes to her, her family, their friends and their neighbours. This dialogue is part of a process of healing for her after her father was murdered a few years ago.



Members of the Alexandra and Naledi community will also be given the opportunity to participate in this rare event of sharing, healing and learning by hearing feedback from the two parties and go a step further towards learning how to build a restorative community.



Head of Khulisa’s Restorative Justice Department, George Lai Thom, explains, “Restorative Justice (RJ) offers a holistic alternative to judicial systems that incarcerate offenders and often ignore victims' need for reparation and closure. In the interests of seeking true closure for these victims, offenders are asked to take responsibility, to be accountable and to be willing to make things as right as possible.



Khulisa’s Restorative Justice, Peacemaking and Conflict Resolution Department has facilitated over 4500 custodial and court-based cases in South Africa over the last five years.



Many victims report back feeling a decrease in fear after having seen the face and heard the story of an offender who might one day be released. The family of crime victims benefit from sharing their personal experience directly with the offenders. Often they also want to know the inner thoughts of offenders in order to get closure”.



Lai Thom explains further that, “The Victim Impact Panel offers an opportunity for those surviving a crime to give offenders hell for the damage they caused. In some cases this results in them being able to release the burden of anger and bitterness they feel and find sorely needed closure. They are asked to tell offenders what they’ve experienced and how they feel having gone through a Criminal Justice System that in many instances, left them doubly victimized because closure and reparation were never completed. Often they explain how they feel re-traumatised by the denial of the offenders.”



Lai Thom explains furthermore, that “Offenders who go through this process describe feeling shocked at the far-reaching effects and human costs of their actions. It’s hard for us to grasp, but they’ve never heard what the survivors of a crime have to say so explicitly”, he says. “They also experience a sense of closure and appreciate the opportunity for repentance and having a say in making things right.”



Lai Thom adds, “Our wish is that these two communities are strengthened by their participation in such an event where they have been given an opportunity to be connected in problem solving rather than feeling disempowered.



Khulisa is an award-winning national non governmental organization which has touched the lives of hundreds of thousands of South Africans since 1997 by preventing crime through promoting rehabilitation, education and reconciliation. It currently operates throughout South Africa, implementing innovative education, leadership, skills training and personal development programmes. Khulisa promotes reconciliation and reintegration in all aspects of its work.

Dwarsrivier DCS, Western Cape

“Don’t stop to inspire people like us, if you can be blessing to me you will certainly be a blessing to others like me” – BRUCE

“I think there’s a better person with a good heart in me, but I sometimes just can’t figure him out” – DUMISANI

“I want to stop violence between me and my community. I want to help those who are being violated and abused. To control my emotions with positive non-violent communication”- ALBERT

“My dream is to facilitate this programme in my community” – GILBERT

“This programme is a step towards my healing” – MARUWAAN

“I don’t like to fool myself as I did before. This course help me to reach my expectations to a brighter future” – ROBERT

“To be part of this course is just what I needed to break my cycle of violence and I will try my best to change my violent behaviour” – ELTON

“This programme should be must for every individual regardless of the crime they have committed” – MAKHAYA

“Everybody must stand up and fight the violence against women and children” – DUMISANI

“I like this course because it opens my eyes. Today I can help others with this information. I would like Khulisa to be more powerful to the outside world” – FEZEKILE

Comments from WORCESTER DCS

“I am excited to be part of this course, because even though I am not a violent person, I will still need to deal with issues of violence that I have personally experience” – EDITH

“I feel privileged to attend this course” – GAIL

“I have a very bad temper; it usually takes a small thing to set me off. I know this course will help me deal with my temper, anger and aggressiveness” – WANDA

“It will be good to know how to handle other people. This course is very powerful. I’m glad to attend it, I have learned a lot” – CATHLEEN

“My anger is so deeply rooted; I hope that this course will help me get rid of it. It’s like a shadow that follows me around wherever I go” – SHANNON

Barnato Park High School Silence the Violence Participants

Silence the Violence participants at Barnato Park High School with Khulisa facilitator, Zain Halle. Zain calls them his "super stars" - and indeed, that's just what they are!

Busy with a session in the Cape

Vanessa West from our W. Cape office facilitates a session

The End is sometimes the TRUE BEGINNING

The sorrows and hardships are the true revival of self-awareness.

Jeffrey

Poem

I am coming back for you.
Oh violence – you sound is like a roaring lion, a roaring lion in my ears.
Oh violence I don’t know why you chose me, but deep down I know,
That you took advantage of me.
Because I was young and had no one to turn to.

My tears were real; I was in pain with no shoulder to lean on,
Oh violence how kind you were to me – you offered me a shoulder to lean on.
Of loneliness, desperation for Love-I couldn’t feel how cold your shoulder was. I was you and needed someone to advice me-someone to give me courage.
But Oh! Violence – you availed yourself and told me that I have proved my capability.

My self esteem, self respect and self Love, I asked how to do all this, then you gave me more fear, anger and a mask to put on.
Oh! Violence you made me feel dull, empty and dead.
You made me believe that the lose of personal power can only be found again through force.

Oh! Violence, I don’t mean to be loud and harsh – this might hurt you.
But listen all that you said to me-all that you told me and made me believe were lies and nothing but lies.
I know!!! I know!!!

I am unique, I am special, I am Loved and needed by others,
Kindly note……
I’m being prepared and trained to silence you Oh! Violence.
I am coming to expose you-I will bring you down in four days to come.


THULANI VS VIOLENCE

IT IS NOT TOO LATE FOR CHANGE

Amazing: Thulani and the fellow inmate surrounded by the family He (Thulani) once victimized from left to right. Aunt Klalani, brother Thabo, fellow inmate Eric, Mother Dineo, Happy Thulani, behind cousin Dimakatso, sister Ellen, sister in law Nono, and below left to right son Luciano, daughter Natacia, nephew Njabulo and niece Poppy.

It was hard painful and torturing experience, I went through as a boy, I grew up knowing that violence was a simple way in problem solving and expressing how you feel. Humiliation, fear, terror and lack of love a strong grip in my life.
I left home at the age of 16 years to look for a life I thought would have been better than that of home. Guns, blood, money & alcohol, girlfriends were all around me. I thought I would be better man than my dad, but I became ten times a monster. Abuse, guilt and revenge refused to let go of me.

More fear, more anger, more violence held me tight.
I robbed people of their money, I stole money, I stole, I killed and abused my family and a friend, and my community too. But it was not for too late for change. I was shot badly and injured by police, imprisoned and sentenced to 15 years in jail.

Regret, more shame and loneliness tried to let me commit suicide. But through the love and the mercy of God I was saved from my sins and forgiven. I became a born again Christian and started to seek change, healing, forgiveness and love. The Love of God, the love of my family, the love of DCS members and the love of Khulisa brought a complete change that still continues in my life.

Today: I want (wish) to give love and respect together with my time for all the victims around the globe. I am willing to fight against crime, woman and child abuse by educating, giving information to those who have been victimized or affected by the acts of crime and violence, also perpetrators.

Silence The Violence – we can all do it together

T.

ATM bombing

My Background

I grow up in the homeland where everything is green bright, but we had to move from homeland of which in rural area to come to urban settlement where everything is happening.

I came from the poor family where my father was not educated even my mother. But I get that chance to go to school for pushing myself and also my brother and my sister in order to get a better education.
Well I was so lucky to get a nice job when I completed my standard ten and work for Engineering Company earning a good salary. I bought a house for myself I married to the wonderful woman and we were blessed with five kids. We were living happy with my family until I misuse the opportunity to open my own business for a better future for my family even that thought is still bind in my mind, hoping and trusting when I go back to my family I will make an apology for what I abused them emotionally , verbal violence.


Agreement of change

It is not about agree, but it is to demolish this stigma of violence against the community.
When we demolished something we make sure it will never exist again. Then we need to use the strong tools to demolish it.
The proper tools are lepets mines explosion that will destroy it, these are the unity amongst the community supporting each other and stop the violence to our community, having NGO to our members of community and organize functions to address the burning issues about crime.

Change is turn from one way to other, that means turn from bad to good show seriousness of change to your neighbors, skillful of simple meeting strategies of dealing about the change to those who still abusing the right of the innocent, work 24/7 with community to able to solve the problems of others who know nothing about change.

We need to use a better method of approach to the people that they must know about change it good to deal with schools first where the stigma is started.

ATM (Auto Teller Machine) bombing suspect arrested
This is a terrible story around our country South Africa about bombing A.T.M of which is crippling our economic system; this sought of crime is carrying on day and day in different places of our country.

Well I read a newspaper last time mentioned some of the police officers were involved with this sought of crime, that gave me a confusion that if people like this are committing this crime of which we trust them and that are anti-violent to the community how much more the safety of community to protect from being violated by Government people. Crime is a crippling this country because even tourist will have fear to come to visit our rainbow nation country.

Well the mechanism of dealing with these various is to be one and united and fight against the crime because our country will face a blink of catastroph.To my point of boking things it will be better to change into a new method of using A.T.M, must be change into computerized and have anti-touch device to sense each and every person closed to it if you pause your eyes in this paste how the suspect is been shot by the Metro Police it shows that it is a unprofessional crime but violating the right of the community.

Tsotsi and homework

Perhaps it sounds strange for the session that we attended today, why? It is because you ought to be open your heart and deliver everything that hurt you from your childhood until to the stage of been incarcerated. Well, to hear from the other people’s experience in life it reminds me for the things that past in my life.

Well again to the movie that I watch from the T.V about Tsotsi it is painful to grow to the family that they not gave love that you deserve as a child you possessed by the spirit of no mercy. Yes, indeed this movie showing us exactly the way the crime starts to our environment of living. To be irresponsible in your family as a father it makes things worse for the innocent people in the family especially the children.

I was been encouraged the way our Social workers and the Khulisa members being open to us and the way they treat us, as they treat their children. I feel relieved to each and everything that we done in that session of today. We all in all it’s about me and my consciousness to understand myself to the scenario. It is very interesting to understand from your mistake and acknowledged them and steps of solving them accordingly. Concerning the dialogue with my actions.

Well I would love to be down and not be angry as I use to be before to show them the love as I approach them for the forgiveness to what done, openly to my speech of asking the forgiveness, hoping to be humble from them will show them the fruits of change.

Michael, Zonderwater

Adam's Journal

Today’s experience in the program was quite eye opening, with what I shared today about what I remembered about when I was young. Also with the movie Tsotsi we got to see not only that happens to the criminal but also to the victims. It showed how a hard badly abused boy who through one of his crimes comes face to face with a baby and over time how he takes care of the baby. How the caring of the baby reawakened his humanity, how the he started to care for other people and did not want to do crime again. However at the end I understand that the ending was cut short so we did not get to see that tsotsi died got shot by police. Some people may not agree with me but the real end where tsotsi was killed represents the Governments look at a criminal. Even if you go to prison get rehabilitated, get released and you start to do good you still get treated like a criminal until the day you die.



Dialogue with my victims

There is so much to say and no words which can ever ease the pain and hurt. The only thing I can do is place my life in your hands and let you decide what to do with, if you want my life take it for it is the least I can do.


Adam

Message from Nanette Minnaar – Facilitator of the Programme at Zonderwater

A son and his dad were walking on the mountains.
Suddenly, his son falls, hurts and screams: “AAAhhhhhhhhhh!
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: “AAAhhhhhhhhh!
Curious, he yells: “Who are you?”
He receives the answer: “Who are you?”
Angered at the response, he screams: “Coward!”
He receives the answer: “Coward!”
He looks to his father and asks: “What’s going on?”

The father smiles and says: “My son, pay attention.”
And then he screams to the mountain: “I admire you! The voice answers: “I admire you!”
Again the man screams: “You are a champion!” The voice answers: “You are a champion!”
The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the father explains: “People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.

It gives you back everything you say or do.
Our lives are simply a reflection of our actions.
If you want more love in the world,
create more love in the world.
If you want more competence in your team,
improve your competence.
This relationship applies to everything,
in all aspects of life,
Life will give you back everything you have given to it.